Haha hahaha

You know what's really hard? Starting to blog again after taking a couple months off.
Seriously, how in the world am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to fill in all the blanks? I just don't think it's going to happen as smoothly as I would like, but I guess it's time to give it a try.

My life is great. It's crazy and baffling and totally frustrating, but it's so great.

So, it's Saturday, August 11. I came home from Camp about 2 hours ago and I am so completely exhausted. I'm slightly sunburnt. My voice is hoarse from shouting camp songs and yelling loud enough to get the attention of 12 little girls. I don't remember the last time I showered. It was probably Thursday after the hike, which isn't too bad.

Ack, I'm stuck. I'm really struggling with what to say... there's just so much.

Ok, I'll have to pick up with the Camp talk in a moment, because I just can't go any longer without telling the most important and exciting news that I've got. Anyone who reads this blog already knows, but how could I not say it again?
Last Friday Markus flew home to propose to me! I said yes, of course, so now we're engaged!!! Ahhh! I still can hardly believe it. The whole thing was pretty hilarious, and if you want to know, I'll tell you the story, starting with Markus calling my boss at camp. You can check Markus' blog for some of the story. This is where some of the life-frustration comes into play. We want to be married. Like ASAP. But when is ASAP? No one knows. I'm going to be in Baltimore until the end of July of next year. Then I have no idea. Will I go to med school? Sooner? Later? At all? Will I decide to do something else? These are questions that need some answers. Oh, and how about questions like will Markus be able to transfer from Ft. Lewis? Hahaha. Life is funny. But anyway, I'm hoping these things work themselves out fairly quickly.. we'll just have to see. At any rate, I'm pretty darn pumped.

I guess what I need to say about Camp is that I'm grateful for it. When I entered into this summer I was feeling depressed and very unlike myself. I felt like I couldn't trust people, and like I couldn't love them. I looked at Camp as a filler. Just something to do between graduation and Bon Secours. I don't know how I believed this, but I really thought that I wouldn't get close to any of my co-workers and that I would leave in the same condition that I entered. This is nothing close to what happened. I am changed. I am in love with a group of more than 20 people. I feel myself again. I believe that people are good again. I can love again. My experience at CND was somewhat inexplicable. I'm going to leave it at that for now, though I am absolutely sure that later blogs will give a bit more insight into my summer at Camp.

Thanks CND 2007 Summer Staff
Even at my worst, I'm best with you.