If every day were Saturday...

I'm at work. You wouldn't know it though. If you took away my surroundings and just saw my actions, you might think I was at home.
There are a lot of reasons this is incredibly unfortunate.
For example:
- If I were at home I could be wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. Instead I'm wearing polyester pants, uncomfortable shoes, and two short-sleeved tops because for some reason (ie. I'm poor) I don't own a single long-sleeved shirt that's appropriate for work (meaning I have 2 long-sleeved t-shirts, and one of them is from 8th grade).
- Also, if I were at home I wouldn't feel guilty doing enjoyable things to fill the time like reading, knitting, and making cards. I don't think it would go over to well if I brought my crafting items to work.
- Not having work to do isn't fun. It's boring. And I also feel like my co-workers are getting irritated with my lack of productivity. But it's not my fault. Really.
- I cannot possibly get as much as I intended to from this year if I'm not actually doing something, which makes me want to not be here. Why be in Baltimore away from family, away from Markus, not making any money if I'm not gaining much from the experience?
- My boss thinks that a good way for me to fill my time is to create a resource manual. While creating a resource manual seems like a fine thing to do in between doing "direct service," I don't think it's appropriate that it be the only thing I'm doing.

Complain, complain, complain.
Yeah, I know.

the weather

I described the weather this morning as being blustery.

Shirley just did a better job by saying, "This wind is not jokin'."

Last night

I felt like May Boatwright.

"She sure does get upset easy," I said.
"That's because May takes in things differently than the rest of us do... when you and I hear about some misery out there, it might make us feel bad for a while, but it doesn't wreck our whole world. It's like we have a built-in protection around our hearts that keeps the pain from overwhelming us. But May -- she doesn't have that. Everything just comes into her -- all the suffering out there -- and she feels as if it's happening to her. She can't tell the difference."

Hannah and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I had the most terrible day today. Really, it was actually terrible. Not just sad or depressing or infuriating or boring. Absolutely, downright terrible.
I'm exhausted from crying and I can't believe I didn't go to bed hours ago. I'm on my way now.
But I wanted to say something first. Well, really two things.
1. I just read a comment from Tricia on Adam's blog where she said "oi." And it made me laugh. Because today when I was at the doctor, I said, "oi vey" to the nurse, and she laughed at me and said she hadn't heard anyone say that since she went to college with a lot of Jewish girls.
2. My favorite band posted a comment on my myspace. This is more exciting than I could ever describe.


(post title thanks to Judith Viorst)

sleepy

I'm veerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy tiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddd.