Friday, January 16, 2009

"harder" but happier

I'm feeling pretty good about life right now. My dear wife Tricia helped me realize that through her recent blog post, where she said, "What I'm saying is: I didn't leave Camden for the easy life. This is actually harder. But I'm happier. Much, much happier."

I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to explain why those few words are just ringing in my heart right now, but I can't do it. I guess the easy, sort of explanation-free way of saying it is that I left Baltimore and moved to Lacey where I struggled to find a job, and to find friends, but there was happiness there. And then in September I left Markus and moved to this new life in Olympia, which has been an even harder transition, full of pain, depression, self-loathing, but also growth and healing. And now I'm standing in the middle of January of the year 2009 and witnessing little pieces of my heart starting to light up and glow that have been dark for months or years (depending on which little pieces you're looking at.)


It started with going to a bar downtown with a friend and having a good time. We made friends with the owner, and now I can go there by myself and feel welcome. Then last week I told him (the owner) about how I'm just trying to open up my life and meet new friends, and he let me know that he has people over for dinner parties at his house about once a month and that he would invite me to the next one!
It grew when I called up an old army wife friend that I thought was maybe gone with the rest of my army world, and I was greeted with open arms. We had coffee one day, dinner a couple days later, and enough conversation to remind us why we loved each other in the first place!
It blossomed when work relationships finally started moving their way into friendships. Next week I am going swing dancing with a co-worker! (And another co-worker is the teacher!) And last night one of my favorites gave me her number so we could go out and play some time.

I want to keep developing these relationships and letting my roots just dig in here, but it's really hard because I don't know where I'll be living in a month or if I'll be able to even get to Olympia. Time will tell, I guess.

3 comments:

Tricia said...

I am happy that you are entering the realm of social fun! Which reminds me that I don't have any social fun (boo), though I do have the blessing of close friends nearby.

But really, the most social fun I have is with you! So everyone in Olympia is luckier than they realize.

Urban Organica said...

I'm confused! I looked around a bit, but can't find the answer ~ Tricia & you go married when? There's lots on Markus, not so much on Tricia...Ok, there's asupplement that will help lots, but I'm going to have to think about the imbalance a bit more. I would suggest getting up before sunrise & doing sun salutations to start. That works for every dosha & will help create a rhythm your body will fall into while nourishing you the same...

Hannah said...

Tricia is my wife-friend. Not really married, we just have a spousal-type relationship. :)
And thanks for the help!