I'm feeling 'eh' and can't put my finger on it.
It feels like I've lost something, and when I try to figure out what that is, it leads to a slow and gentle depression of my spirits because, as it turns out, it could be caused by any number of those things in life that aren't the way I would like them to be. I miss my family. it feels like I haven't talked to any of them in a really long time. phone calls with my cousin, my gramma, my sister, my mom, they used to be quite frequent... it's my fault I know. I am usually the one who makes the call (maybe 75% of the time) and I haven't been doing that because... I don't know. I haven't been talking to anyone. this is a pretty clear indicator of the state of my mental health. I guess I just feel pretty isolated. I'm frustrated with working so much because it doesn't leave much time for fun, and also I work during the hours of the day when it's light out, so after that I don't have many options. I could (and sometimes do) take the bus downtown, but I'm a little apprehensive about walking home in the dark from the bus stop since I live in perhaps the scariest neighborhood in Lacey. this leads to hours spent alone in my bedroom, which really isn't good for me at this point. last night i finished my book and colored a picture in my new strawberry shortcake coloring book, but i would have rather been doing something fun with friends. today is my day off and i went to bed at like 9 last night. lame.
on the brighter side, i'm looking forward to having this weekend off and doing something fun. not sure exactly what yet.
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